he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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