So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
