I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
