There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
