Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
