So drunk, too bad you don't want this
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
