Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
