I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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