I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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