Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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