Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
