just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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