Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
