i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize