when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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