please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
