He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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