I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Success! We fucked roommates!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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