I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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