His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
