Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
