I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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