I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
