What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
