Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
