Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
