Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
