I want to make a zoo with you.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
