i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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