I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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