Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
