i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
