So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
