u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I need moral support for this bender
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
