I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
