The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
