Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
3pm strippers are depressing
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize