Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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