I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
