Yo dont text me then not text me
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
