Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
