I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
