hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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