Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
