did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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