i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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