Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize