I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I need to align my fucking chakras
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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