So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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