i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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