I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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