brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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