The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
