Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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