it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He keeps bees of course he's weird
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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