i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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