even my farts smell like vagina
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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