so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
