did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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