I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
