i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
