people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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