Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize