I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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