i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
