just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
